We keep promising updates for both past and current chapters of this journey….and as I sit here watching the chemotherapy drugs drip into Jessica’s veins, I’m reminded of life three short years ago when I sat as I am now, watching drugs much like these, also dripping into her veins, with the hopeful promise of a cure. Alot of life today isn’t much different than what it was then…yet, parts of it feel like we’ve come full circle as we are once again trying to rid her body of this stubborn, stubborn disease. Current treatments keep us here for 4-6 hours every other week. It’s the “new norm” for us! The nurses here have become our friends over the years. They all know about our family and we’ve come to know about theirs. They’ve shared our happiness over good times and our sadness when life threw us lemons (to be polite!) These ladies are all angels in their own right. Always a kind word, along with a smile, to help make a crappy situation bearable. For those who don’t know, Jess’ treatments are at The Hope Center for Cancer Care in Boardman, Ohio. Our nurses, Kathy, Sandy, Annie, Jan, Barb and Barb (Kim, Denise and Amy, too) are the best that we could ever hope for! The entire staff here is wonderful including our other angels in the lab…(singing) Georgia, Kathy, and Kelly amongst others! And of course, we must mention our beloved Dr. Knight! I think he’s found yet another daughter with Jessica!! They share such a great rapport and at times even “argue” like father/daughter!! Actually, sometimes they’re quite hilarious to watch!!! In the beginning, we all thought that after six months we’d be one of those patients who showed up every six months for follow ups and that no one would remember! Instead, we have sort of become a semi-permanent fixture! We’ve gotten to know some of the other patients too, many who have finished their treatments and are hopefully fully recovered! We’ll share our stories on our “other friends within these walls” at another time.
When Jessica finished her “original” chemo in January 2006, the nurses gave her a big balloon arrangement and hugs and sent her on her way!! And our family had a big "CELEBRATE" party at Aunt Karin’s house! We were all so thrilled for Jessica as she started to put her life back together! Unfortunately, the euphoria didn’t last very long…
In May Jess could “feel” that the chest mass was starting to enlarge and CT scans confirmed what we all feared. Radiation therapy was started and six weeks later we once again hoped that all would be well. But in late July, before we even celebrated Jess’ 1st “Cancerversary”, a biopsy was done on a node that was found on her left neck. Hodgkin’s was confirmed. We were all devastated. At this point, Dr. Knight got us an appointment with Dr. Bolwell at The Cleveland Clinic where we consulted with him about doing an autologous tandem stem cell transplant. This process harvests and uses your own stem cells with the hopes of your body building itself a new and improved immune system and killing off any cancer cells in the body. Twice for good measure. The procedure was approved and the process started in September. The first transplant was delayed a few weeks since Jess developed shingles which had to first heal. We were in Cleveland from October 3rd and came home on MY birthday, October 18. Best present ever!!!! But knowing what was coming next made it difficult to return for the second transplant on November 20th. We spent Thanksgiving in the hospital but family came to see us and celebrate. (They, along with Jess' boyfriend Justin, came throughout both transplants to keep us company) We got to go home on December 8th and I (personally) honestly felt that that a weight was lifted and all would be well with the world. Merry Christmas!
2007 started out as a Happy New Year but it wasn’t to remain that way. In May (again) a new left neck node started to enlarge and scans also revealed an area of concern in the abdomen. Radiation therapy was done this time for both areas. Six weeks later and another “hope” that this would be done…
After the end of radiation in June, Jessica was diagnosed with asthma for which she still takes medication. And then in October, once again, the original chest mass was beginning to increase in size. Another form of chemo or a donor transplant were now our options.
You know, sometimes in life you find that you’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop. In the beginning I kept telling Jess that with time things would get easier. The more time that passes from your diagnosis and treatment, the easier it is to see the cure. As a breast cancer survivor from 1989, I know that feeling of being strapped to the table with that "horror movie" axe swinging and slowly dropping making its way to you inch by inch, while you squirm to find a way out from under it. I fully expected this to be the case for Jess too. I escaped. She would too. She’s my daughter and she’s got my genes, now doesn’t she???? I guess I just didn’t realize that it would be a much slower road for her than it was for me... We’ve always been “positive” about the events that have happened since Day 1 and Lord knows that enough shoes have dropped to make a caterpillar go barefoot, yet through it all Jess has kept her unfailing attitude of BELIEVING that all will be well in time. Always a smile on her face and a kind word for those who have a hard time dealing with HER issues… She understands. Sometimes it’s harder to “see” than to “be” the patient. But that’s another story.
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