Ten Years

Every year on this date, I selfishly wish for the same thing: to have the hours of this day move quickly, and with less heartache than those of years past. And yet somehow...it never does.

My entire being has been struggling, attempting to grasp the fact that you’ve been gone for 10 years. And, through it all, I still can't help but wonder how different life would be, if only God had allowed you to stay with us.

And with that I look back. One year ago. My words. So my dear Jessica...with love in our hearts and fear in our back pocket, let our next journey begin.

I've not done well with fulfilling that promise...

Ironically though, while visiting you at the cemetery yesterday, I caught sight of a dandelion puff. The only one among all of the flowers and the vast clover field. It kept my attention, begging me to capture its essence. I immortalized it. Once home, I did what any of us would do...I googled it and found these symbolisms on flowermeaning.com:
   Healing from emotional pain and physical injury alike
   Surviving through all challenges and difficulties
   Getting your wish fulfilled

My wish. Jessica, maybe there is hope after all. Maybe that optimism that once filled my soul will  resurface, and our next journey can truly begin. Maybe the answers to so many questions will finally reveal themselves. Maybe, just maybe, I will finally find my peace...

Good night Miss Jessica.
I love you. Always.

"In the end, we'll all become stories."

-Margaret Atwood