Twelve...

Every anniversary is difficult; this one is no exception. And every year as it appears, I write with the intent to be positive about life, because good does exist, although my heart begs to differ. 

Twelve.
How can it be twelve years since you left us? How can it still feel like yesterday as well as a lifetime ago? How is it that the void still consumes my entire being?

Much of life has remained the same this past year, yet change has surely evolved. We've all learned to adjust to survive the pandemic, but the world is still divided on so many issues, both political and humanitarian. The children are growing and thriving, despite the months of upheaval. And through it all, everyone here on earth has been doing their best to reclaim what feels normal.

Normal.  What is normal? The heartache that never rests? The dreams that will never see life? The future that will never come to be...

My thought of late was to bring closure to this site, along with it's ever present sorrow. But your Aunt Karin encouraged me to continue, if only for your anniversary tribute. Within this conversation to move onward, a new purpose in life emerged for me. I know it won't come easily, quickly, or without difficulty, but it's time to tell the full story. Your story. Yours - where future generations can learn about love, strength, and fortitude. About how their Jessica never gave up, even in her darkest days, and how her courageous smile always helped those around her feel at ease. How she never gave up hope...and refused to let us do so. Yes Jessica. You are, and always have been, an inspiration - and it never shined brighter than when you struggled the most...and I will do my best to make you proud as I show the world what a precious treasure it lost.

Good night Miss Jessica.
I love you. Always.

"There are places and moments in which one is so completely alone

that one sees the world entire."

-Jules Renard