13 years...

Today's message is not as impactful as others may have been. And as I read through the years, I find that to this date, I have failed in delivering your story. But, a journal of gratitude was born this year; a daily reminder of all that I have in my life, all of which I am both thankful and grateful for. I’d like to share yesterday, July 7:

I am grateful for the honor of caring for my loved ones after their passing. Especially for my daughter Jessica. And today, fresh flowers and trinkets of love were placed on her grave on a beautiful afternoon at Tod. The white billowing clouds filled the sky while a warm breeze floated around me. Yet through the peace, I found it difficult to hold back the tears that struggled to be set free. This surely isn’t how I imagined my life. She shouldn’t have had to leave us. So many questions still, in the midst of never ending heartache. But God writes our story, and I am asked to accept what is given. And as painful as it is...I do. So yes. I am truly grateful, and blessed, to be part of this sacred honor.

And now there's today. Your anniversary of 13 years. Tell me - did our nightmare take place yesterday, or a lifetime ago? My heart often battles with my mind when asked. It’s so hard to grasp that it’s yet one more year without your beautiful smile, your kind and loving soul, your amazing outlook on life. I miss so many things about you, and time hasn't found a way to ease that pain. But I continue to move forward with every day that I’m granted, because I know that is what you wanted, and one day, when it is my time, my heart will smile again.

Until then, good night Miss Jessica.
I love you. Always.

"When we die," asked Rabbit, "where do we go?"

"Into the hearts of those who have loved us most," said Bear.

"That way we're together forever."

-T. Shannon