Dear Jessica-

Two years have passed since my world was shattered and Devastation began to breathe life. Heartache had been thrust upon me before, but never did it hurt so deeply as when you left us. Turmoil continued to follow as my endless battles with Grief and his brothers raged on. And each time that I thought I had loosened their grip on my soul, I'd find myself being pulled back just one more step, as was done to us so many times before...

Yes Jessica, I am grateful to God for placing you in my care until he called you Home, and I am thankful for the love and the blessings that you gave to all of us during your short stay here on Earth. But the compulsion to be angry and lash out has never been fully extinguished...yet I know deep in my heart that there is no true anger to be had, nor blame to be placed...your work here was complete, your Journey reached its destination, and it was now time for you to rest. But I miss you so very much. And the void left inside my heart yearns for the days when I could see you... and hear you...and touch you...

You know Jess, in so many ways your Journey became mine. I knew I couldn't cure you but I could walk by your side and hold your hand. I could talk with you, listen to you and cry with you. You carried the burden, but my highest hope was to help lighten your load. We shared so much during your illness and in many ways became each others best friend as we enjoyed the good days that Life allowed us amongst the many trying ones.

And now, as the arcs of this Circle are being traced yet once again, another new normal is being conceived. Oh my Jess! How many times did we use that "new normal" phrase over the years? And we always believed that this time it would be the one where we could finally stop and breathe.... but the road of Life is never a smooth one, and detours were plentiful as we would so often "hurry up and wait" for its pages to be penned and in turn the chapter closed. Maybe this time a message of Peace will be composed...

I am doing my best to move forward. Our family and friends continue to help one another as much as they helped us. But it's not the same. I can see, and feel, the ache in their hearts - transparent through their eyes - and the suffering becomes a shared moment. And there are times when I want nothing more than to join you....but I know that, just as your work was done, mine has yet to be realized. Better days are to come, for Life always has Hope hiding within her wings. We used to talk about that.....but then, that's another story.

Goodnight Miss Jessica.
I love you. Forever.
-Mom