Nine years

Time, I've been told, heals all wounds. In my heart I know the potential exists. And although I still carry the same hope and optimism that I held a year ago, much has changed to hinder Time's intent.  Jessica, you continue to reunite with family; I continue to lose mine as my parents, your Oma and Opa, have both now joined you in Heaven, taking with them yet another piece of my shattered heart.

We all learn to live with grief if we are given the privilege of truly living and loving in our lifetime. But once grief has taken hold, it will gain power and strength, if left unharnessed.

My grief of late swells and subsides, and at times overwhelms, as emotions implode. Memories of our last holiday together, from the confines of your hospital room, flood my thoughts with each display of colored light and thunderous sound.

And attempts to take control back from my grief are often in vain. But I won't let grief win.

I know that I have so much to be thankful for and grateful for. And I am. Not only for all that I have now, but for all that I was blessed with in the past. And I vow to do my best to find the good in each day, and honor your memory by living life to the fullest, just as you always did Jessica, even when fate kept altering your plans.

So my dear Jessica...with love in our hearts and fear in our back pocket, let our next journey begin.

Good night Miss Jessica.
I love you. Always.

We've got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen.

-D. H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's