Yet another month has gone by, again whether the hours of the days pass slowly or not. The heaviness in my heart, no lighter. The pain is my soul, no less. Tears still flow freely - perhaps in an unwavering attempt to cleanse some of the memories forever embedded within my thoughts of Jessica's final days.

And as this last month has come to pass, the Holidays are approaching quickly. Once the highlight of my year, I have come to realize that, although the possibility that last year could have been our final one together, I never actually believed that it would be. And now as "the day" gets closer, the fears are rising in me that this year too, could be the last one celebrated in the way that it will, with those that we love and hold close.

Jessica's grave has been adorned with love for the Holiday that will never be the same...for those of us who's lives have changed, but will continue on until it is our time to leave. We all have so much to live for and I am grateful for my family and friends who remind me of this. With the stresses of late it would be an easier thought to see life differently, but it was Jessica who fought with every breath of her being, and I must follow suit. She taught me well and I will honor her fight with that of my own.